It has been a couple of month since and I’ve decided to actively look for jobs. Usually it’s, “Yeah, that sounds great- applying tonight!.” but then when I get home jump into the BED. The day before I was originally going to quit my job, a company reached out to me and we talked but it didn’t work. During that process, careers started popping up that I was actually interested in. This has never happened before in the history of me being on LinkedIn. I started applying to jobs via LinkedIn because there was need for a cover letter. There were at least two jobs that required one but I was not in the space to create a 1 page document on why I was better than everyone else.
This journey is different yet new due to the fact that in the past, people around me would tell me that I would be amazing in said career field but there was never a follow-up in a particular industry. Now, in college, Student Affairs seemed appealing; however, I didn’t necessarily have the guidance I witnessed other students receiving whom wasn’t even interested in higher education. While I was being told how great I was going to be, once I opened an application to attend grad school I paused. It wasn’t the time and I wasn’t motivated to power through two additional years of college- so I took a gap year.
During my gap year and my years as a graduate student, I had fallen out of like with the idea of becoming a student affairs professional. There was just too much to ambition to maintain, not enough support to thrive in an environment that lacked decent critical thinking skills, and most importantly, the mentorship was not there. I was looking to be led but was constantly battling the feeling of “why am I here?” and “do they even want me here?” The ambiguity of feeling in limbo was unnerving to do the fact this was something I actually wanted to do but I was met denied entry. From third grade up until my sophomore year of college, I wanted to be a teacher. I switched my major and the I began my identity crisis LOL. Fast-forward to a month ago, a friend of mine told me to not let people ruin a career path for me just because they are the ones turning it into a popularity contest. I agree but it’s too late.
Regaining my confidence has been a marathon. I’ve been putting myself out there, making the connections on my own, stating what it is I truly want and not wavering has been tremendous. I cannot thank myself more. There has been indirect help, although it was me that had to make the ultimate move. It’s sad to close chapters that were meant to be temporary yet somehow turned into a developed story but it’s necessary for mentally and professional growth. I’m 26 and I’m making the shots and I’m not backing down.
With that being said, it’s Nov. 11th (11/11) what did you wish for that is finally taking shape? What are somethings that you are manifesting for yourself that you hope turns into a reality?
For me, those things are happening. I have to believe in myself enough to know that I’m capable and worthy. I AM BELIEVING and I AM WORTHY!
Marc Joseph's Journal 